While visiting a friend who stopped in the office to wish me well on my future endeavors, he asked if I was going to write up the prerequisite “So Long, Farewell” column.
Yes. I am. Right now, in my head and in note form, I have five versions of the column that will be my final statement and mark of 18 years at The Daily World. Yes, I will have one. I just don’t know what it is going to look like and what will be in it until the very end.
I’ve read my fair share of them. All of them were heartfelt and had a tinge of sadness in them, as is if to convey that this wasn’t their choice. Unfortunately for me, I’m the one who made the choice, so that tinge of sadness will come from elsewhere.
Here’s one column idea that went through my head recently… the Ginsu knife. You know, the one on television that can slice through bread so thin, you can see through it. It is beaten up and comes right back to slice that tomato expertly and through a single piece of newsprint easily.
There are a few metaphors you can pour into it, about adversity, overcoming obstacles and staying true to form. You can draw up how well it is designed and how it’ll last forever. And, you can add the steak knives, the peeler and the decorative knife that can help make a potato look like a spiral staircase around a bit piece of pot roast.
Then, to draw it together, you compare your career to it. You compare how tough, sturdy and reliable both have been all of these years. You note how both stood up to the knocks, the pings and the misuse. It’ll all come together like an advanced Lego set.
At the end, you can sign off with something pithy, something heartfelt and something logical.
It’ll fit. Until you realized that it is a bad idea and rather stupid to compare a career that will come to an end with just over 28 years to span to a direct marketing knife set that isn’t that good. It is really stupid.
Or, is it. I don’t know. I’ll know soon enough.